Tag Archives: psychology

Four Days

This morning my alarm went off at 6:45am, but I was already up because I was stressin for my psyc exam. I finished the soy milk (which is actually soy juice, but they don’t call it that because no one would buy soy juice – weird right?) in our fridge with the last of my Kashi cereal and I left the dorm for my social psychology exam. It was okay…I only need a high C on the final to maintain an A- in the class, so I think I’m good. I was still trippin over some of the less logical questions like this one:
Rebecca’s friend Marie is planning on potentially going to New York for the weekend, but she is still unsure. Which of the following should Rebecca consider to determine whether or not Marie will go to New York for the weekend?
a) Marie’s attitude in regards to New Yorkers
b) Marie’s intention to go to New York
c) Marie’s attitude toward travel
d) Marie’s intention to travel this weekend
I mean, I don’t know if I’m missing something, but I have no idea where this came from. I think I picked b or d. Regardless, the exam went fairly well I think. 
After my exam, I submitted my final linguistics solution, changed the grade base for my cultural studies class so it can count toward my minor, and then had my last dining hall experience with Eva. I will not miss the dining hall at all. Literally. At all. But that is discussed below.
Then we went to Publika, because they are giving out free teas as they are the winner of the Grapevine Award for best tea and best coffee, so yay. I’m sitting on the sidewalk of 4th St, drinking my iced pomegranate black tea with pearls and 30% sugar, chillin in the sunshine, typing away on my extremely over-heated laptop.
I remember around March of last year, before I had received most of my college rejection letters, I was in the car with my dad and we were talking about where I was going to go to college. We were joking about the ridiculous name of Dinkytown, and he said, “Well, we know you screwed up if you end up in Dinkytown.” I’m not sure if he was right or not – if I really did screw up or if I just ended up here by default. Either way, it’s been the good kind of year that I am capable of having.
This will now be my final review of living in a dorm as per my experience.
It sucks and I don’t recommend it if you’re at all like me. For some people, it is the saving grace of their freshman year. It is how they make friends, and they get to have a “real college experience.” I thought I was going to have that too.
The problem for me is that I overestimated my normalcy. I’m not saying I’m weird in a cool, special, unique way, because in pretty much every way you can be considered “exciting and unique,” I am just like everyone else. But in other ways, I just don’t value the same things, and I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I have a pretty unruly sense of independence as a result of having attended 6 schools in 6 years. Because of this, I wanted really badly to have a super normal college experience in Minnesota – one of the most normal, vanilla places ever. Not so much because I wanted to be like everyone else, but more because I just wanted to be on an even playing field and have the same experiences as everyone else.
The problem is, like I said, that I overestimated the amount of happiness I can derive from the same experiences that make other people happy. I thought living in a dorm, going to football games, and getting shwasted at house parties would make me happy because they were very normal things that everyone else loved, but they don’t make me happy. They didn’t. At all. And I started to realize this as I met different kinds of people toward the very end of my first semester. More mature, interesting people who were the type of cool that I am very much drawn to.
I’m happy I did these things because I now can say that I at least tried to live a life outside of my oddly shaped bubble, but all of the individuals who I now call friends were discovered while doing things that actually make me happy. (Except Eva. We met online. Ah Facebook.)
So yes, I tried really hard to convince myself that I loved living in the dorms, but I didn’t, and I began to come to terms with this at around Christmas time. These are the reasons why I think it sucks for someone like me:
1) I am quite a hypocrite, and I have accepted this. As in, I love my tattoos, but I probably won’t like yours. I also love my dog, but I probably won’t like yours. I also, however, like being in a clean environment. An organized, trash-free environment. 2/3 of my roommates didn’t feel this way. I will leave it at that because I don’t believe in publicly bashing people. Insert frustration here.
2) I like playing music pretty much all the time. When I wake up, when I am doing homework, when I am cleaning, when I am showering, when I am walking somewhere, when I am falling asleep, all the time. It’s hard to do that when some of the people who you are living with don’t feel the same way.
3) I hate TV and believe that it has no place in the lives of mobile individuals. Go live something.
4) I don’t like eating dining hall food. Now, I can’t complain too much because my dorm has some of the best dorm food I have heard of, and I have very few horror stories. The problem is that everything except for the salad is really, really unhealthy. Even the smoothies are made with yogurt containing high fructose corn syrup, and never have I ever seen a whole grain in the dining hall. So I ended up eating salad all the time, which is fine, but every now and then there would be a bug in my salad. I mean it’s really not that hard to use a salad spinner, guys. Also, I really do enjoy cooking for myself, which is exceedingly difficult in a dorm.
5) I don’t dislike communal bathrooms for the reason that they are shared and I have to bring all of my shit with me whenever I shower (but I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve been too lazy to find everything so used Dr. Bronner’s as…everything). I dislike them because every time I had to pee or shower or brush my teeth or whatever, I had to face the world. I passed the library, where lots of people congregate for various reasons. I passed the kitchen, and had watch people burn the shit out of their chicken wings. I passed 7 dorms, so hello to all of you. And, on weekend mornings, I passed tour groups. Only twice, however, have I had to fumble with my keys while standing wet, in my towel, at my door, in the middle of a tour group. Good morning guys. Come to the U. But the only thing between my wet body and your eyes is a rectangle of fabric, so please avert your eyes. Thanks.
6) The only space on the entire campus that I could call mine was my bed, my desk, my dresser, and my wardrobe. That’s it. The ground next to my bed was not mine, that was public space as far as I was concerned, so I had to make sure I treated is as such so as not to piss off my loving roommate. I just get a little claustrophobic knowing that the only space that I can dominate and say, “No, no. You no enter,” is approximately 25 square feet.
7) I have my own schedule, and I really don’t like having to consider someone else’s. CALL ME CRAZY AND SELFISH, but I like to kind of do whatever I want whenever I want, and I had much, much more freedom to do that last year while living with my parents than I did this year while living, ehem, “alone.” It’s just hard for me to not be able to completely control my environment.
8) I think that’s it…yeah I think so. Basically, dorms just didn’t really work out for me. Not my thing.
Thus, next semester, I am living in campus apartments. Yes, it is still university student housing, but none of the above reasons for my displeasure with dorm living apply to the apartments, so I hope it will work out nicely.

And here’s a really good song by two of my favorite artists collabing and being amazing…

18 Things of April

April happened. Let’s review.
1 I entered the month in New York.
2 Sam came to visit!
3 I met my roommates for next year – they seem pretty cool and they love Christmas, so I think it’ll work out just fine. They’re just not as fly as dis woman.

We hella cool.

Totally twinning.

We’re just going to be so rich, successful, attractive, and happy one day.

4 I had a ratchet date.
5 I saw this guy. And it was awesome.
6 I declared my double major in Psychology and Linguistics and a double minor in TESL and Cultural Studies.

Cultural Studies minor ftw.
7 I went to a professional baseball game and made a mental note to never go to another professional baseball game. Ever again. Dat shit’s boring as fuck. But still not as boring as golf.

8 I registered for Fall 2013 classes: Oceanography, Semantics, Phonological Theory II, Syntax I, Research Methods in Psychology, Conversation Analysis, and Language Acquisition. One of them will be dropped though.
9 I became obsessed with Cary Grant for a short period of time, and then realized that I could actually create an entire class presentation around his accent, which made me feel really happy. Hell yah, brah.
10 I began research for my project next semester yayyyyy.
11 I decided to go to Scotland next spring. I honestly have no idea what will actually happen, but the tentative plan is to enroll in the University of Glasgow for Spring 2014, which is exciting. But I make so many plans and change my mind as the wind blows, so I really have no idea what I will be doing this far in advance.
12 I went through several distinct phases of music obsession: Hoodie Allen, Noah Gunderson, Born Ruffians, Vertical Horizon, and Kina Grannis.
13 I didn’t drink pop for the entire month yay!
14 I realized that Chipotle is so, so much better – rice, – hot salsa, + chipotle hot sauce, and + extra lettuce and corn salsa.

I’ll let you fill in the blank that I blurred for the sake of her reputation.

15 I began to embrace my pathetically short hair.
16 I watched 3 health documentaries in one day, then was like, “Oh my God I am officially vegan! How am I even still ALIVE after I have been eating so much meat and dairy?!” And then I was presented with cheese and I was like fuck that.
17 I discovered this cover with which I am in love.
18 I realized that thismakes the best alarm of all time.

Feverish Feels

I skipped all of my classes today. All of them. I just couldn’t do it.
The amount of spring fever that I am experiencing right now is absolutely absurd. I sit down to read or study, and I end up in that really weird part of the internet that brings me to things like this and this. Or I end up on Pinterest, or finding more awesome concerts to attend this summer. I just couldn’t do it today.
I went for a lovely little run this morning, and then I was sitting in my room and ended up on Tumblr, so I decided I should go out and try to get some work done, as I have always had a pretty difficult time focusing in my own room. So I packed my shit and went to Publika, where I am currently drinking a chai milk tea with pearls and I am literally the only non-Asian here. It’s totally cool, but kind of weird.
Drinking tea with pearls is a strange experience. I don’t know…it just feels really weird. They’re these tiny, squishy, sweet little balls just floating around the bottom of my tea. Once I’ve finished the tea and there are still some pearls left, you have to really suck on the straw to catch them, and they kind of rocket into my mouth and pelt the back of my throat and it’s a little startling. I feel like Buddy the Elf when he keeps opening the Jack-in-the-Boxes. Them damn pearls get me every time.
Here’s my to do list for now through Monday, arranged by class:
Stats: reading, homework from two weeks ago which I have to redo, homework for next week
Psy: paper #3, reading
Ling 4002: nothing, actually. Yesterday my professor said to us, “On Friday, at this time it will be seventy degrees and sunny, so fuck it I’m canceling class.” So that’s nice.
Ling 5302: term paper, presentation, and other things
Cscl 3456W: term paper, reading
Cla 1002: I really feel as though I shouldn’t have to do anything for this class, but I have several weeks of assignments to catch up on.
Yeah Spring Jam’s going to be so fun. So, so fun.
Except not really.

United We Stand

Sad things are happening. Facebook and Twitter are exploding with people offering prayers, demonstrations of support and solidarity, questions of why, accusations of who, and hatred for whomever is responsible. Some people are also criticizing those who seem upset by these events, because “things like this happen everyday in some countries! You don’t care about those people! You’re so selfish! You’re only paying attention to these people because they’re Americans and it’s on the front page!”
That’s not true. 
At all.
I cried. I cried for a really long time when I heard about the shooting in CT a few months ago. Tears still well in my eyes when I think about it. I cried when I heard about the explosions in Boston. And I just cried when I heard about the explosion of the fertilizer plant in Texas which may have killed up to 70 people. Maybe it’s because I am a hormonally volatile teenager, but maybe it’s just because people are dieing, and that’s always really sad.

When I was in 8th grade, a family friend had passed away and my mom told me to get my brothers and go to his funeral at lunch time. So I did, but it turned out to be the wrong funeral. We sat there in our uniforms in the back of the church, at a strangers funeral, and I cried my eyes out. It was so sad – there was hardly anyone there. I thought about that for a while, and I felt so embarrassed for crying at the funeral of a complete stranger, but I remember that day when things like this happen. And all of a sudden everything seems much more personal to me. I think about that man whose life I cried about, simply because the people who were there loved him and lost him.

All of those people had lives and futures that are now gone, and they have been taken from the people who love them. So I cry about that. And I think shedding some tears is the least I can do. I know it’s completely irrational and not true, but I feel like the more emotional burden I try to bear, the lighter it may be for some of the people who were actually affected by these events. I don’t know if they would consider it offensive or supportive that I cry, but I feel sad, so I cry about it. And then I say a prayer and carry on.

People are dieing. That’s always a reason to cry, offer prayers, and show support. But people are dieing all the time. Innocent, good people are dieing every second. The reason that everyone is showing support for these losses is not that we are “selfish” and “ignorant” and only care about the deaths that make headlines, but because these are the ones that hit home. These are the ones that could have been us.
When we hear about these tragedies occurring in far away places, it’s hard to imagine ourselves there. It’s hard to imagine living in a war zone and being a victim of a roadside bomb. It’s quite easy to imagine waiting at the finish line for the runners to finish their marathon in a city that, if you live in the US, is probably not much unlike your own.
Minneapolis is definitely on the smaller side of major US cities, so I’d like to believe that moving here was a pretty low-risk decision on my part. But my little brother goes to school in one of the same cities that was attacked on 9/11. My aunt and uncle both work in Manhattan. My other uncle lives in Boston. It is all too easy for me to imagine these things happening to me, or much worse, to one of them. That’s why we publicly offer support and prayers and love and well wishes. That’s why demonstrations of solidarity are important to us in times like these – because it could have been us.
I’m not one to argue on Facebook. If you want to share your own invalid opinions and reveal exactly how much of an idiot you are to all of social media, go for it, I won’t stop you. I also won’t make myself look like a tool and try to correct you on Facebook. But if you’re one of those individuals who is trying to appear to be more globally-aware and superior by demeaning the efforts of your friends to offer support and solidarity, then you’re wrong and you should stop.
The last thing this world needs is pretentious college students furiously typing away at their Macbooks about how their peers just need to be more “aware” while behind the comforting veil of l’internet.
Oh, wait…

We are all equal. If you don’t believe that, then you make yourself lesser.

There are four posts in progress. Lots has been going on. But I would just like to take a minute to acknowledge the fact that right now, in this moment, we are making history. We are living in a time when we can see the past in the future…we know that whatever happens in terms of the Supreme Court’s ruling, it will be historic. And I think that’s so cool.
When Obama was running, we were in a similar situation. We could see the past in the future, we could taste the history books that our kids will be reading in however many years (or like…websites? holograms? Google glasses?). However that election of 2008 turned out, we knew that it was going to make history.
I suppose the only thing that still confuses me is that some people believe they’re fighting a battle for the good, when they are really just on the wrong side of history. They’re on the side that is pretty much comparable to the “separate but equal” folks…the ones that most of my generation looks down upon.
I LOVE LOVE. AND I LOVE YOU.