Tag Archives: doctors

This Close.

A lot went down during the month of May. I ran in the Run For Your Lives event, got pneumonia, reacted pretty violently to the medication I was prescribed, was in the hospital for a little while, missed all of my final exams, missed my AP exam, made up all said exams, and semi-finished school. My dad also went to Colombia for three weeks, and he will be home in a few days. So. Yes.

This summer I am actually going to be pretty busy. It’s not like last summer when I was always going away places, but I have a lot I have to accomplish this summer.

Different note: when I was a sophomore, I created a private blog for myself to document my college search, admission, and decision processes. I just found that blog again, and reading it was so funny. At that point, I still had absolutely no idea what I was going to study, or what kind of college I wanted to go to. I was kind of just closing my eyes, holding my breath, spinning, pointing and saying “Yeah! That sounds good!” I made a sidebar list of possible major/minors and they are…amusing. Some of the ones that I found most interesting are Yoga, Genetics, Forestry, Geology, and Fuck This. Haha…I really did not want to think about college at that point.

Now, I am pretty sure of my chosen …genre of study, if you will. I know that I will have some combination of degrees in Psychology, Linguistics, and foreign languages, which will most likely include one or more of the following: Italian, Spanish, French, Portuguese, and Russian. Honestly, the only thing preventing me from getting a quad major Psyc/Ling/Ital/Span is the fact that I want to study abroad. Otherwise, I could totally do it, but because I can’t rely on my chosen locations having courses that I need, I have to leave enough wiggle room to ensure that I will get all of my planned degrees.

The University of Minnesota has this awesome tool called Graduation Planner, and you basically map out your entire academic career class-by-class and see how things fit together to get the most from your education. Next semester, I will most likely be taking Intro to Linguistics; Intro to Measurement and Data Analysis in Psychology; Exploring the Universe; Italian Culture, History, and Society Through Film; and History of Media Communication. It’s only 5 classes, but because they are nearly all 4-credit courses, it’s works out to be 19 credits. Although, because I left so much room near the end of my 4-year plan, if my advisor thinks I should drop one class for my first semester, I’ll drop the Italian course. It’s the most inconvenient for my schedule, and it’s not necessary to take an elective for my major this early on.

I officially have 3 more high school classes left. We are doing absolutely nothing in English right now- just watching movies.

It’s funny…well, not funny really…actually it’s a little pathetic, but I feel so numb about leaving high school. And going to college. Like it’s not the kind of numb when you just know that at any second, something will wake you and all of a sudden you will FEEL whatever it is that you are suppressing. I genuinely think I am indifferent to this transition in my life. It wouldn’t seem so funny (or just, odd) to me if I weren’t reading all those Facebook statuses about “I’m going to miss everyone!” and “These past four years have been amazing!” and “I will never forget you!” I am not going to miss anyone, these past four years have not been amazing, and I will forget you. However, I experienced all of these feelings when I moved to NY. I missed everyone (I still miss a few…), those two years were amazing, and I will never forget some of the people I met there. I suppose I’m just numb because I have nothing to leave behind. I am used to changing things, and to leaving and explaining and being lost wherever I am. Being in a new place is not exactly exciting to me, but it’s most certainly not terrifying either. I officially suck at making new friends, so I guess I will just have to work on that next year. But I’m not nervous about it at all. I know that I suck at it. I have the small-talk skills of a spoon, but whatever. So I’ll be alone. I’ll not be lonely. There’s such a difference between those two.

My point is- this is much less of a big deal to me than it is to many. I don’t know how much I like that, but I don’t care. It will be good to have the same experiences as my peers, and to not have to explain myself. Yay.


I can’t think of an appropriate title for this.

Hello. My name is Marissa, and earlier today, I was in a pretty bad car accident. I can’t shake it, so I figured I’d write about it and hopefully that would get it out of me. I was driving home from my babysitting job in the sticks of Millbrook during a misty rain shower, and I was going a little too fast for the rain. Yes, I was actually going under the speed limit, but it was raining, and I should have been driving more slowly. I had had a mild headache all morning, and I was about to fall asleep while I was babysitting. One late night followed by nothing to eat for 18 hours = a very useless me.

Then, as I approached a pretty serious turn in the road, there was an orange truck in front of me with another silver car ducking in behind him. After trying to jam on the breaks, but failing and hitting the gas, I swerved away from the truck and into a grassy hill. After a few moments of some unfortunate hydroplaning, my breaks failed me on the slippery grass, and I continued to fly into some bushes (I think…there were a lot of branches, but they weren’t trees.). I saw my car heading straight into a road sign, I squeezed my eyes shut, and my car flipped over several times. I opened my eyes to see shattered glass all around me- my windshield wiper was through my former windshield, shards of my former window were tangled in my hair, my driver’s side rear view mirror was dangling, and my glasses had slipped off my head during the tumbling. I reached for my phone to dial 911, but there was no service. I tried to dial my mother, but there was no service. There was no one on this road in the middle of the day, and I was alone, and possibly injured, in a totaled car.

During those moments, all I wanted were my parents. All I wanted was my mother to give me a hug, and my father to tell me what to do in this moment of distress. I, who so frequently boasted of my independence and capability to take care of myself and hold my own, yearned for my mom and dad to be holding my hand and telling me that it would all be alright. Today, I learned a lesson. I learned that I am not invincible, I am not ready to free myself of the comforts of living under my parents’ care, and I need some time to become ready. Thus, I decided later today that I will spend this year making sure I am ready- to leave my parents, and to be able to hold my own once I do.

After a few minutes of an incredibly fast heartbeat, some heavy breathing and a lot of shaking, the orange truck pulled up behind me and the driver got out and asked me if I was alright. He said he had driven up the road to where he could receive a signal and he called 911. He also saw the entire thing, and said I rolled over several times. I started laughing- which was probably the absolutely wrong response to the situation. I think I was just so overwhelmed that my instincts didn’t really have a button for this situation, so they blind-folded themselves and pressed “laugh.” Then I realized why I was laughing, and became even more scared. I then started to cry a bit, I think. I knew that if I was injured I probably wouldn’t feel it yet, so I kept looking at my limbs to see if there was any blood or any other visible signs of injury. There was nothing at all. For some reason, I felt like this guy didn’t know anything (obviously I was wrong) and something gave me the need to explain to him that I could be hurt, but I wouldn’t know it because of the adrenaline coursing through my veins at that moment. I just love how in moments of peak stress, I automatically assume that everyone around me is an idiot. *smh*

I waited in the car, and the woman that was behind the orange truck came to my window and asked me if I was alright. She held my hand and told me it was going to be okay, and that I was okay, and that help was on its way. I kept telling her that I needed to call my mom, but I I had no service. So she took my phone and drove up the road to get service, and she called my mom. She returned, and then a few cop cars, a fire truck, and an ambulance showed up. I kept thinking that something HAD to be wrong with me. No one gets into an accident like that and walks out fine. So a bunch of people asked me questions and I kept saying that I was fine and just wanted to get out. I tried opening the door, but the hinge was broken, so they opened it with some tool. My umbrella fell out of my door. I hope they put it back in my car.

I went into the ambulance and they kept asking me questions that I didn’t know the answers to. I felt so stupid. I didn’t know what they were saying, and all I wanted was my parents to be there to help me with this. My license was on the floor of the passenger seat because I had to take it out of my wallet to get my AHS parking permit, and my registration was safe at home in my bag. The ambulance took me to St. Francis, and on the way there I spoke with my parents. I was seriously freaking out. I just remember having so many things to say that I couldn’t get them all out at once, and then starting to cry because I was so shaken and flustered. The paramedic was really nice, and on the way there all I kept thinking was how lucky I was. Why didn’t I get hurt? I should have gotten hurt. No one walks out of that kind of crash without a scratch. But, I did. I did not have a single scratch. I then thought that some kind of divine intervention was definitely present in that moment, and I then realized who the face of God is to me. It’s CORCOVADO! I knew I knew it somewhere, and I always thought I just pictured it as a male version of the Statue of Liberty. But, no. In my head, God looks like Corcovado. And I realized that in the ambulance.

Then I was wheeled into a room in the ER, and my mom came in and gave me a hug. That was probably one of the most valuable hugs of my entire life. All I kept thinking about while I was waiting alone in the car, and dealing with the cops and paramedics was how badly I wanted my mom and dad. To finally have her there meant that everything was going to be okay. That everything was fine, that I was safe, and that by the grace of God I made it out of that car fine.

I know that others may have faced much more frightening experiences, but this was the most frightening moment of my life. And to know that I have parents that can dissolve all of that fear is one of the greatest things in my life with which I have been blessed.

Right now the only thing that hurts it my neck from some serious whiplash, and my chest from the seat belt. I will have a magnificent purple bruise there tomorrow, I am sure. And now that this is all out of my system, hopefully I will have a better sleep. Good night, blog.


I’m kind of sick right now. Check that- I AM sick. Yesterday I felt nauseas all morning, and then I went to the nurse and threw up and my mom took me to the doc. and then we went to Vassar for a CT scan and it was clean so we’re not sure what’s wrong with my head. And then I came home and took a nap, did my homework, and went to sleep. I woke up and got ready for school this morning, and I threw up again and I decided to not go to school, and that was DEFINITELY the right decision. Seriously- I feel like crap. So I plan on spending the day doing homework, SAT Prep, and sleeping. Sounds good to me. Haha, work up this morning after changing out of my uniform and going to sleep, and I seriously felt like it was maybe 1 or 2 in the afternoon, and it was 8:30 am. It was such a nice feeling, knowing I had so much time left.

Okay, and is it just me, or was the word “thismorning” ever one word? I seriously thought it was one word! Spellcheck keeps correcting me, though, but I seriously am convinced that I was taught it was one word. I like it better as one word…thismorning. It’s cool…I like it.

I have the hospital bracelet still on my wrist and I kind of like it- I feel labeled. Okay well I’m going to paint my nails now. Good bye ;)


As you know, I got major sunburn on Sunday when we went to the beach. It’s all blistered on my cheekbones, forehead, chin, and my neck onto my cheast. It looks so gross, but it hurts so bad I kinda don’t care how it looks anymore. It stings really badly when I sweat (aka- at the gym). And the really gross part is that they are fine during the day and you can’t even notice them, but after I work out they’re like inner tubes on my face because all the sweat pools up in them! Ewe! I have little sweat bubbles on my face! And since my dress ofr the formal is strapless, I’m going to be peeling on my neck and everything and gross! Eghlll! Anywayy, I’ve been putting a gazillion ounces of aloe on my face during the day, but I let it breathe at night after I shower. It still hurts on my arms and legs when I shower, but I try not to get my face wet in the hot water and I wash it with cold water.

Advice About Sunburn from Nurse Colleen (mamasita):

  1. Use 100% aloe gel. The lotion stuff has other stuff in it you don’t need, so go for the green gel or an actual aloe plant. I used it once in Cancun…it was cool B].
  2. Use cold water to wash your face. Hot, even warm, water will burn your skin even more (contrary to popular belief).
  3. Leave a cool washcloth on your face over night. It will prevent blisters. (I didn’t follow mother’s orders.)
  4. If you get blisters, DON’T pop them or pick at them. It will just make them worse and you could have scars. I actually find scars quite attractive, but I don’t think most people do so unless you want me to be attracted to you, don’t pick your blisters haha…no, seriously…don’t pick ’em. It’s bad for your skin (and it hurts).
  5. After your sunburn has healed…don’t be a friggin idiot and make the same mistake again…WEAR SUNSCREEN! Or sunblock, but I think they’re the same thing. Even if you tan you could get blisters and peel, so always wear sunscreen. My mom’s moisturizer has SPF 15 in it, so I”ve been using that and aloe. It helps.


I’m sick. I woke up this morning and said,

Me: Mom, I’m not going to school. My throat is killing me and I have strep.
Mom: Well how do you know you have strep?
Me: The entire Leak family is out with strep. My throat is killing me. I have strep.
Mom: Okay, I’ll take you to the doctor.

Usually, if I wake up and my throat hurts, I’ll brush my teeth, shower, use Listerine and maybe salt water or numbing spray (or both) and I’ll feel fine, but this morning, it hurt even after I got going so I knew I had strep. We went to the doctor, and whatdayouno….I have strep. Yippee. Well, I’m still going on the field trip tomorrow and sleeping over Carli’s house because I won’t be infectious or contagious because I will have been on the antibiotic for 24 hours, but I still feel crapy.
Mom also asked the doctor for a prescription or something so I can get an MRI on my leg to see exactly whats wrong. I’m falling apart. It’s sooo not me to be sick like this. I’m never sick. I usually get sick like once a year during flu season and maybe break a finger or something, but I never get, like, this whacked out. Oh, and Nonni got surgery on her eyes so pray for a fast recovery. thanks!!!