(To achieve the full effect of this post, listen to THIS SONG continuously while reading this. It’s what I listened to the entire time while I wrote it. Just sayin.)
I have discovered a secret. Do you want to know what it is? Assuming you do (well, one should never assume. after all, it makes an ASS out of U and ME), I will tell you. But remember…it’s a secret. Between you, and me. Whoever you are…
I know how to be the best person ever. I am obviously not that person, but I think I know how to be that person. I do…because I have met a few people like this in my short 16 years of life. And, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about this, and I have discovered something that no one has ever told me before. This secret is one of the few original ideas I have ever had, because usually, the ideas were planted by someone else and kind of just brewed in my head. But this one, I thought of all by myself.
Now, this could all be terribly wrong, but that’s okay. I don’t mind being wrong so much as I mind not admitting that I’m wrong. Here’s what I am thinking…
So, consider this for a second: How do you judge people? Like, what about people do you dislike? What kinds of people do you dislike? What personality traits do you despise? What religions do you think are stupid? What kinds of people do you find unattractive? Do you dislike rebels who don’t follow the rules? Do you dislike those who follow the rules? Do you dislike people who wear too little clothes? Do you dislike people who are always covered from head to toe? Do you dislike people who smoke? Do you dislike people who don’t care about their grades? Do you dislike people who only care about their grades? Do you dislike people who have tattoos? Do you dislike people who a tall? Short? Fat? Skinny? Do you dislike people who do not wear any make up? Do you dislike people who have dyed their hair every color of the rainbow?
*Now, it is important that I point out that the questions do not ask “Do you dislike tattoos?” It asks, “Do you dislike people who have tattoos?” Big difference.*
But, I was thinking about this in that what kinds of people to whom we limit ourselves, and how that affects who we will become.
I see it as this- if you think that you don’t like people who do certain things, then you are judging them. You may not even know the person at all, but by just looking at them or hearing them, you dislike them. (not to say you should judge the person even if you did know them, but hopefully that was understood) Since you judge people so easily, you will subconsciously assume that others will be equally as judgmental in regards to you. Therefore, you will never take a chance and do something outside of yourself in fear of being judged by others, which is no way to live. You will never do something outside of your imaginary boundaries because someone may think that it is “bad” or “stupid” (yes, I dug those fancy words out of my oh so eloquent second grade vocabulary) or “wrong” or “tacky” (a little better? no? shut up.).
I was considering this because of my newfound contentment with not having any super close friends at Lourdes. I do whatever the hell I want and say whatever I want whenever I want to. (although I don’t do or say things that would get me in trouble…I am referring to conversations with my peers. no sense in risking expulsion. although……… ! ………nahhhh) It really is quite nice. Being able to roam around and look how I want and say as I please, without having the influence of someone else’s thoughts in my head. I was wondering why I felt this way, and why I never felt this way before. And I realized that I have stopped judging people, because I don’t care anymore. I don’t really care what you do or say, but I will still like you and talk to you unless you are a truly cruel person (unfortunately, there are a few…). I don’t care about creating a new “BFF,” so I don’t feel the need to filter the parts of myself that someone would disagree with or dislike, and I don’t care about filtering others for the parts of them that I dislike because I don’t have to like everything about them, so I do. Make sense? I hope so.
Therefore, I am obviously I am not mean, because I am not judging anyone and therefore have nothing bad to say. SEE HOW THIS WORKS?! It’s an endless circle of happiness and contentment. (like, puppies and kittens and rainbows and unicorns and cotton candy and Tabasco and old men smoking pipes. except not at all.) I love it.
(Damn, whyyyy am I writing this? I would say it’s because I have I have too much time on my hands, but I really don’t. It’s just late and these thoughts have been bouncing around in my brain all week.)
I then realized that this also means that not only are all of the doors of opportunity now opened, but that you can knock down the whole damn wall, blow up the ceiling and just do ANYTHING. Obviously we all have a standard of morals to follow, but I mean this in the sense that we won’t be AFRAID to do things. I don’t do the right thing because of fear of punishment; I do it because it’s the right thing to do, it would create more unnecessary evil in the world, and I would be forever regretful that I did that truly horrible thing.
To circle back to the whole concept of not judging people: I know someone like this. She is someone who literally judges no one. Literally…no one. I am very touchy about absolute words like “never” and “no one” and “always,” but this person NEVER judges ANYBODY. And, therefore, she never stops herself from doing something because of fear of judgment. Fear of things like, you know, being killed, is another story. Obviously that will stop you from doing things that are truly life threatening. But otherwise . . . fear of judgement should never stop you.
Three awesome quotes just popped into my head.
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” AMEN, FDR (and, yes, I had to Google who said that). That is so true in every way except that I am also afraid of dying. Maybe I shouldn’t be afraid of dying, but I am, and I think that’s a healthy fear…it keeps you sane (yes, I am just trying to justify my own fear here. sorry.). But it’s true…and I think so many people have lost sight of the fact that we are all stupid humans. We all are born, and then we just roam around the planet, and then we die. We are not very significant, and nor will the planet cease to exist when we do. The world will keep spinning. So, why are we so afraid of so many things? I think one killer is the fear of rejection. We are so afraid of rejection from so many people…our parents, our friends, those people who we want to be our friends, our love interests, our teachers, and some even fear rejection from universities, that many of us don’t take a chance or risk rejection and just drown in our own fear of “losing.” But you also have to remember that if you are doing something that truly makes you happy, then those who truly love you will not reject you or judge you. That is actually a lovely segue (sp?) to the next quote…
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” (I actually knew that Dr. Seuss said that, no Google required.) So, those who truly love you and to whom you “matter” won’t judge you if you are doing what truly makes you happy. I love Dr. Seuss. This quote is so fitting.
I have a terrible habit of interrupting others when they speak, but even worse- I interrupt myself. All the time. My brain switches gears without telling me what the hell is going on. Sorry.
My brain took a little detour from that lovely person who exemplifies the quality I am writing about now. ANYWAYY, she never judges anyone, regardless of any factor that separates them from the rest of the population. And when I say NEVER, I mean it. Because she doesn’t do so, she is never afraid to do anything that will make her happy because of what ANYONE else will think. Granted, she wouldn’t be truly happy if certain people disagreed with her decision because she would be making them unhappy, and therefore she would be unhappy for their unhappiness, but it’s not because they are judging her, it is because she doesn’t want to make them unhappy because she cares about them. (I AM GOING CRAZY. feel free to stop reading now, if you haven’t already. this is just becoming more and more senseless.)
The whole point to this is that I think if people were to stop judging one another, then everyone would be much happier. I know it sounds like such a cliché, but I think my twisted logic brings a whole new meaning to it (for me, at least).
And, my third and last relevant quote: “Meglio un giorno da leone che cento da pecora.” (at least, I am pretty sure that’s it…) This never really worked its way through the wheels in my head. It always stopped at the comparison of only living one day compared to one hundred (my fear of time, and dying…) but now I finally understand it. To me, it means to be FIERCE (yes, this post was for you,SALT WATER, remember?) and fearless rather than shying away from life when it attacks you. (When I picture life attacking me, I see the green Hulk throwing images that represent all of my problems at me. hahaha. I am definitely drowning in the depths of my thoughts. ehhh.) Be the lion.
Ohhh no, I am not done yet. I just decided to continue. Why are you still reading this? I think you may have something better to do. Clean your room, do your homework, make dinner, watch some L&O, something, anything. I think you’re wasting your time by reading this. Still here? Okayyy…suite yourself.
Think of the people in your life who you know judge people, all the time. We all have those people in our lives who are constantly criticizing others and putting them down. Now look at their life. In my case, at least, they all live pretty dull lives. They dress like everyone else, they act like everyone else, they don’t display even the most mildly unique of qualities, and they usually try to act like the furthest thing from what others may see as strange or negatively different. That…is what I hope to never become. That one who is afraid, and that one who won’t take a risk. And, no, I am not judging those who are afraid of being judged. Just observing, right? Right.
In conclusion, I know nothing. So, rather than leaving you with the link to my new favorite song (the John Mayer version, mind you. I think there are at least 3 or 4 versions, and I think Bruce Springsteen is the original, not sure though), I will leave you my favorite line of the lyrics.
“Sometimes it feels like someone took a knife baby
Edgy and dull and cut a six-inch valley
Through the middle of my skull”
Why did you read that whole post? Tell me in the comment section.
I am so deeply sorry,